Talking about suicide: How your words can save lives
Talking about suicide: How your words can save lives
Suicide is undeniably one of the most tragic and heart-wrenching causes of death, yet it remains a leading cause in India, cutting across various age groups and social backgrounds. And to be honest, talking about suicide is not that common. The fact that it affects people from all walks of life highlights the pervasive and complex nature of this issue. It's heartbreaking to see that even in today's world (where awareness about mental health is increasing) suicide continues to claim so many lives.
What's particularly concerning is how economic disadvantage plays a significant role in mental health outcomes. Those who are economically disadvantaged often find themselves in situations where they have limited access to mental health resources, compounding their struggles. The link between poverty and poor mental health is well-established, and in a country like India, where there is a stark divide between the rich and the poor, this correlation is even more pronounced. The stress and despair brought on by economic hardship can drive individuals to feel that there is no way out, leading them to consider suicide as an escape.
Cultural narratives and suicide
It's also disturbing to consider how historical and cultural narratives have shaped perceptions of suicide in India. Ancient Indian texts often glorified suicide as a noble act in the face of shame or disgrace. These stories, found in epics like the Ramayana and Mahabharata, have left a lasting imprint on the cultural psyche. They present suicide as a way to maintain honor, which can skew contemporary understandings of the act, making it more complex to address in modern times. So, talking about suicide is not really something that people can easily do.
However, it's crucial to remember that most individuals who contemplate or engage in suicidal behavior do not truly want to die. They probably suffered from previous non-suicidal self-injury or other physical and mental health issues. What they often seek is an end to their suffering, not life itself.
This distinction is vital because it highlights the importance of intervention AND support. People who are struggling with suicidal thoughts are usually in deep despair, but they can often be reached and helped. This is why the words and actions of those around them are so significant. That's why your words matter!
Learning to properly talk about suicide
Talking about suicide is one of the most challenging conversations we can have, yet it's also one of the most important. Many people shy away from discussing it, not because they don't care, but because they're unsure of how to approach the topic. There's often a fear that bringing up suicide might somehow plant the idea in someone's mind, making the situation worse.
This misconception has kept too many of us/you silent for too long. But here's the reality: avoiding the suicide topic doesn't make it go away. In fact, normalizing conversations about mental health (including feelings of despair or thoughts of suicide) can be incredibly empowering. It opens up a space where people feel safe to share their struggles without fear of judgment or misunderstanding.
When we talk about suicide, it's very important to do so with so much care. The words we choose matter much more than you think. Using the right terminology and speaking with empathy shows respect for the gravity of the situation. It's not just about avoiding language that could be seen as stigmatizing or blaming—it's about actively choosing words that convey support and understanding.
Keep in mind that phrases that sensationalize or trivialize the issue can do more harm than good, so they should be avoided at all costs.
Talking about suicide: Conversation starters
"I've been thinking about you a lot recently, and I'm getting the sense that something might be bothering you. I'm here if you want to share what's going on."
"I can tell something is wrong. Can you tell me how I can help?"
"You seem a bit different these days. Are you going through something? I really care about you and would love to talk if you're up for it."
"It's been hard not to notice that things might not be okay with you lately. I'm worried, and I want to be here for you."
"I've picked up on some changes in how you've been acting, and I wanted to check-in. I'm concerned. Can you share what has been going on?"
What NOT to say!
"Think about how this will affect everyone around you." This broadens the scope of guilt and responsibility to include family, loved ones, friends, coworkers, and even acquaintances. It risks making the person feel like a problem rather than offering them support.
"You're just being dramatic." This completely invalidates the person's experience and can make them feel like their emotions are exaggerated or unworthy of attention. This can lead to them shutting down and refusing to seek further help. Which is the opposite of what you want!
"Other people have it worse than you." While intended to provide perspective, this statement often has the opposite effect. It minimizes the person's feelings and can make them feel ashamed for struggling, potentially driving them deeper into their suffering.
"You'll get over it eventually." This phrase dismisses the immediacy and severity of the person's feelings. It suggests that their pain is temporary AND unimportant.... which can be incredibly isolating when someone feels like they're at a breaking point.
"Why are you being so selfish?" This is one of the most damaging things you can say!! It frames the person's pain as a moral failing and implies that they're hurting others simply by struggling, which can increase feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
Final thoughts
In moments of crisis, it's crucial to listen, validate, and support. Instead of offering platitudes or trying to 'fix' the situation with words, focus on being present and empathetic.
Simple, honest expressions like "I'm here for you" or "I'm listening" can make all the difference.